I was mid-nightmare when my morning alarm buzzed me into consciousness and suspended the assault on my emotions.
Millisecond…Frontal lobes kick in…Is there a 911 Nightmare Search and Rescue Team to come and assure me it was going to be alright?
I was still comfortably in my bed where I had tucked my brain in just a few hours before… but that dream couldn’t have been more ‘real”… the fear and anxiety had my heart pumping and my amygdala ‘amygdalating’… OK, I know… ‘amygdalating’ is not a word, but you get what I mean and it caught your attention right. I like playing with words… Where did the odd support characters come from who were in cahoots with the oddly out-of-place actual people from my past that I recognized in my dream. I was afraid that I was about to live my ‘corporate downsizing’ all over again. YIKES!
Settle… Calm… Think… Remember…
“Fear is not real.
Fear can only exist in our thoughts of the future.
Fear is the product of our imagination causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist.
Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”
Hmmmm! More to think about here… I gave it to my subconscious and for now, I let it go!
As I went through my evening reads and sits this week, I had been pondering about the idea of how to get better results from the MasterKey and in my life. I am really enjoying the course material and the challenges, but it was like I was not quite tuned in to the full strength of the universal signal…there was still static confusing the broadcast. I accepted that I controlled the receiver, so I had to make the adjustments in both thinking and doing to get clarity.
We talked and read about forgiveness.
Yep, had to admit that I had some baggage.
The stuff that I was holding onto had long ago been forgotten by the offenders, if in fact they ever knew. I had become to slave to my circular memory. I had allowed hurts to accumulate as a bad habit and a source of excuses I could count on to justify poor performance and even outright failure. It was mostly their fault… or was it?
I definitely wanted to excavate the channel clogged by the sediment of accumulated hurts I was hanging on to. It just felt right that it was up to me to free up the flow of inspiration and clarity I was searching for. After all, I am the receiver and need to tune in to the message and power of the Universe. The broadcasters signal is clean, clear and strong. But how? Somebody once said, “If God seems far away, you had better check to see who moved.”
I opened a file on my computer and jotted down some thoughts about forgiving… Dictionary search ( go look)… scripture search… (70 X 7)… An internet full of cool quotes:
Before I went to bed, I actually made a list of the people I needed to forgive. Slept well… until the mother of all nightmares rocked me conscious.
Before I started my morning reading, I felt inspired to kneel and in prayer release the hurts I had harbored from each person on the list made the night before. It was wonderful, emotional and cleansing. The channel was immediately more free and clear. I was present in that amazing moment. Thank You.
The story of Two Monks and a Woman is a popular Zen story.
A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together.
At one point, they came to a fast flowing river. As the monks were about to cross the river, they saw a beautiful young woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked for their help in crossing.
The older monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other side. The young monk was very upset, but said nothing.
As they walked the senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent. He asked “Is something the matter, you seem upset?”
The young monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted to touch a woman, how could you carry that woman on your shoulders?”
The old monk spoke kindly, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank of a dangerous river crossing. You, however, are still carrying her.”
The older monk, his conscience free, saw the opportunity to serve, responded to it, and after assisting the woman, continued to be present for the rest of his journey.
The younger monk, bound by conflicted ideas, held on to them for hours. No longer in the present, he missed the experiences of the next part of the journey and lost his peace of mind.
Christ said, ‘…My grace is sufficient… 70 times 7 … be a light, not a judge…’
About the only thing I remember from my College Sociology class from Professor Arturo De Hoyas was,” It is as much a sin to take offense as it is to give offense.” Good one.
Haanel instructs, ‘Give more… Get more!’ Could it be that if I forgive more, I can forget more of what does not serve my journey?
Lay down the burden, wish it well, walk away, towards the light. Beautiful!